


tentative.

by parisianwalkways (akaeijis)



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M, Yuzusho - Freeform, canon ? ig, itsuki is in it and i cant bc hes so cute ;-;, keiji appears too, rivals ish to friends to crush to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23658253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akaeijis/pseuds/parisianwalkways
Summary: “Uh, I was hoping if,” Yuzuru puts his chopsticks down. “If I could stay here in Japan with you? For a while.”Shoma’s still for a second.“You want to come back to Nagoya with me?”The rest of the cafeteria looks up. Oops. Shoma didn’t mean to shout.(Or, Yuzuru wants to train with Shoma. Shoma just needs a little more pushing until that 'oh' moment.)
Relationships: Yuzuru Hanyu/Shoma Uno
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	tentative.

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a while since i was updated on fs world so i apologize if some info w comps and stuff are wrong!!! I'll update the fic once i update myself hehe i wrote this in 2017/2018 
> 
> on the other hand the title is tentative. bc i still haven't decided on a proper title yet also seems fitting for shoma. ALSO some parts may be from my other fic 'gold through cracks' you guys can think of it as a sort of expanded universe

**2018-2019 SEASON**

He’s eleven years old again. Just a kid who likes skating, because it’s fun and Mao-chan is really nice to him. Performing is also fun and watching other skaters inspire other people makes him want to skate like that too. 

Japan Junior Champions. 2009. Nine years ago. The first time everything began to settle down, the first time that ice skating became everything, and the first time he met Hanyu Yuzuru. 

He’s seen him skate before, Hanyu was always different — as if his blood was the ice and the body the rink. But that was only the beginning. 

He’s skating toward Hanyu, to stand on the left. When he reaches the podium, Hanyu takes his hand, shakes it — then lets go too soon. Like trying to grasp for a feather in the wind, then you feel it brush against your palm, but it’s gone and flying even farther through the currents of the wind. 

Shoma wakes up. 

He’s crying. 

  
  


-

  
  


It’s the first open practice for the NHK competition. It’s a bit chilly, Shoma really does want to snuggle back in the warm covers, the transportable electric heating blanket and some thick socks. Yikes. His feet are cold. 

But he’s here. 

He’s half awake until the shutters of cameras wake him up and he spots a taller, lanky figure walking ahead of him. It’s him alright, marching into the practice rink with a bright smile, focused eyes, and broad shoulders. He’s like that in every competition, focused and intense yet carefree. 

Yuzuru looks away from the camera, for a split second, and their eyes meet. Shoma’s heart plunges deep, deep underneath the ice and into the cold water. The shutter speeds of cameras, fast questions from the media, the footsteps of fans and coaches and press alike all sound like bubbles fluttering around him. Everything is hazy, foggy - except Yuzuru’s white jacket. 

Shoma feels himself melt into the crowd. Yuzuru has always been a light, and everyone else becomes the poor, multitude of flies that can’t resist flying towards it. He may be Shoma Uno, second best skater in the world — but he’s just like everyone else in the rink. 

Shoma rubs the sleep from his eyes and pushes forward. He takes his skate guards off and heads towards the ice. 

Everything becomes silent. Just his two feet on the ice. He closes his eyes, a few seconds to regain composure. 

He sees himself reaching for Yuzuru’s back. 

(He calls it image training.) 

Then he starts skating. 

It pushes him to skate a bit faster, a bit harder, a bit better. 

-

Shoma’s a bit winded out by the end of his run-through. He took off his jacket about halfway, leaving him clad in only a plain dark long sleeve. He runs his hands through his hair as he steps off and he hears the scraping ice behind him, so he turns around. 

Yuzuru’s there, in his under armor turtleneck, smiling. “Hey, Shoma.” 

“Hey,” Shoma smiles back, walking forward to not block the entrance, but slows down to catch up with Yuzuru. (Despite all of his overthinking, Shoma’s still, ultimately, friends with Yuzuru. He guesses it does make him a bit different from everyone else. Maybe. Not really. He’s overthinking again.) “How did you feel? You’ve been doing good this season.” 

“I think I’m good, my legs feel a little weird though. I think I slept weirdly.” Yuzuru frowns, seriously contemplating. “How about you?” 

“Uh, I was really tired but I feel more awake now.” 

“Really?” Yuzuru laughs. “Like you’re not going to take a nap soon?” 

The corners of Shoma’s mouth pull upwards, “You’re right. You caught me.” 

As they’re walking, Yuzuru kind of looks to the side and apparently something caught his eye. Shoma turns. It’s a poster for the Ebisu-san Festival, a little thing by the department stores a good twenty minutes away. It’s really colorful, with gold and red accents. 

“Hey, we end on the eleventh, right?” Yuzuru asks him. 

“Huh,” Shoma replies. “Oh. Yeah.” 

Yuzuru hums and nods like he’s got everything figured out and waltzes away with that happy, flowery walk of his. 

-

The crowd is getting riled, as usual for the last group about to go on — and that’s probably what makes Shoma’s feet move, what makes his heart beat faster like it was his first quad flip, what makes him try to reach out to Yuzuru right before he goes on the ice, grabs his arm. 

Whispers ‘good luck’ in the softest voice and Yuzuru smiles at him and he doesn’t know what makes him do what he does next. But he leans on the boards, cups his mouth with his hands, and yells, “Good luck!” again, this time it’s lost in the cheers of the crowds, lost in the world that loves Yuzuru, yet Shoma can still hear the words echoing in his heart. 

He hopes it echoes in Yuzuru’s too. 

He watches Yuzuru breathe in, Shoma follows. Yuzuru breathes out, Shoma follows. 

Then the music starts. 

Shoma’s always loved watching Yuzuru skate — it’s like everything stops and falls into place. He remembers why he continues to skate, why he keeps getting back up after every fall, why he pushes himself a bit more. 

Yuzuru skates like how his emotions run. He wears his heart on his sleeves and pours them out to the audience when he goes on ice. He weaves through the thin line of here and not here, sport and art. 

He watches Yuzuru finish off, spinning four times, with a quad loop, glides to finish his program with some spins and -

And—

And Shoma swears their eyes met. 

Then Yuzuru finishes, perfectly insight of Shoma, hands extending out, as if reaching to him. Then bows. 

Shoma’s heart is louder than the crowd that pours yellow on the rink. 

-

“You did great earlier,” Shoma says while he’s packing up his bags, placing the weight on his shoulders. There’s no need to rush since they’re going to the same place anyway. 

“Thanks,” Yuzuru quirks his lips up, “I used your ‘good luck’ as my charm.” 

Shoma feels his skin feel a bit hot. 

Yuzuru closes the locker and readjusts his bag, his skates, everything and looks to Shoma. “Ready?” 

“Uh.” Shoma swallows. “Yeah.” 

They start walking, discussing how they felt and how they think they’re going to do tomorrow. Then they pass by the red and gold festival poster again while Yuzuru’s in the middle of saying how he wishes he could have done his step sequences a bit cleaner. 

Shoma takes the time to study his profile. How bright his eyes are, how his hair falls softly on his face, how the lines from his forehead trail down to his nose and lips and jaw. 

Then Yuzuru turns at him, as if waiting for a response. 

“Oh. Sorry, I,” Shoma isn’t really sure what happened. “I spaced out.” 

“No, it’s okay. Let’s get on the bus, we should get some rest.” Shoma nods, bringing his luggage closer to the compartment and Yuzuru shakes his head. “No, just go on in and save us a seat.” 

Shoma nods, leaving the luggage to Yuzuru, walks up to the bus and into the aisles, about to sit next to Keiji and— 

Wait. ‘Us’? 

“What’s wrong?” Keiji asks him, patting the seat next to him. 

“Oh. Uh. Apparently I’m sitting with Yuzu,” Shoma says, sliding to the seat behind Keiji. “Sorry.” 

Keiji snorts and Yuzuru appears and Shoma is so, so confused. He raises his hand for Yuzuru to see him. 

“Ah, thanks.” Yuzuru takes the seat next to Shoma and exhales. 

Shoma nods and leans against the cool glass, hoping to take a solid nap before they get to the hotel. But he can’t with Yuzuru fidgeting with his fingers, looking as if he would rather talk about his program, watch it again, analyze every single second, and write what he needs to focus on. 

Shoma puts a hand on Yuzuru’s arm. “Hey, just take a nap.” He says, this time, Shoma closes his eyes and rests against the seat, his head centimeters away from Yuzuru. 

Yuzuru’s arm stops fidgeting.

“Okay.” 

Shoma snuggles further into his jacket, not noticing that his grip tightens on Yuzuru’s arm. 

-

“When this is over,” Yuzuru says seconds before they’re able to go out and warm up on ice, “do you want to go to the festival?” 

He’s talking so softly that Shoma isn’t sure if it’s him he’s talking to. “Huh?” He asks but then the doors are open and it’s time to warm-ups. 

They line up, introduced to the crowd, Shoma’s thoughts still disordered. But he shakes it off, when this is over, he whispers to himself. When this is over. 

He’s third today, thankfully not last, that’s Boyang. He loosens up his joints, does a triple axel — he’s ready. 

The rest of the warm-up and the other competitors go through a blur. Mikhail jumps from fifth to first, ahead of Nathan. 

The nerves don’t bother him, neither does the crowd - but he wishes he could have what Yuzuru has. The ability to use the crowd to power his skates, to give back what the crowd gives to him. Instead, everything just becomes quiet except for him and the scraping of ice. Yuzuru once explained that during skating during competitions, he feels like he can feel and hear and see everything so clearly, every sensation just feels so clear and he tries to pour it back out while he skates. Yuzuru sees everything in between the blurs of skating, his senses more aware, and he’s everywhere and everything. 

But for Shoma, everything fades except the ice and himself. 

Shoma gets into place, closes his eyes, sees Yuzuru’s back, opens them, and skates. 

If Yuzuru can see everything more clearer, Shoma feels his heart clearer. 

He feels more intense like he’s watching everything from above, controlling his body yet not in it. He performs his choreography, takes off his footing, enters into his quad flip, runs through the rest of his sequence. 

When he enters to spin to finish his program, in a moment of clarity, he sees Yuzuru. 

The music stops, Shoma’s hands flourish. 

Then back to the real world. The support from people from across the world and people in the stadium. He feels all of the support that’s helped him throughout the years and he hopes he could give it all back. So he bows, from the bottom of his heart. 

(In the Kiss and Cry, he’s first place. For now. Yuzuru wins, Boyang third.) 

-

“So,” Yuzuru asks before they go into their hotel room - which is right next to each other. “Do you want to go?” 

Shoma remembers everything, the whispered words from warmups, which feels like eons ago. Shoma’s always been a simple guy. 

“Sure.” Shoma says and Yuzuru smiles, his eyes crinkling.

“I’ll take care of the media.” Yuzuru says, just like him, to always be one step ahead, and goes into his hotel room. 

Well. Okay. 

-

UPDATE: Candid photos of figure skater Yuzuru Hanyu walking around the shopping district. 

_@quadels:_ :(( can we give him privacy please hes still a human being it makes me happy hes enjoying himself

_@dreampod:_ eye emoji whOMSt is he walking with

_@tanakas_ : HES WITH SOMEONE?? 

-

“How is this?” Yuzuru asks him, holding up a dog mask. A grey one. 

“For me?” Shoma asks, pointing to himself. He’s wearing a dark hoodie, sweats. Hoping to not stand out. 

“Yeah, you are a bit like a puppy,” and Yuzuru starts giving it to him but Shoma pushes it back. 

“What about you? You’re so much more popular.” 

Yuzuru gives him a soft sort of smile and puts the mask in Shoma’s hands. “I’m alright with crowds and media. You’re not.” 

Shoma still doesn’t feel satisfied with that answer, but Yuzuru sighs, takes the mask and puts it on Shoma’s face. “We don’t have all night.” Then Yuzuru takes his wrists. 

Everything’s a bit of a blur. Yuzuru smiles and charms his way out of staying or talking in one place for too long. Of course, Yuzuru is still Japan’s star, but people are respectful enough to only politely gawk, with a few fingers here and there. 

Shoma feels a bit awkward in the mask, while Yuzuru just weaves through the people as if he’s a local, wearing jeans and a regular white shirt.

He looks normal. 

He doesn’t look like the god on ice, gliding instead of skating. He’s not Yuzuru Hanyu, best figure skater in the world and in history.

Here he’s just Yuzu. 

After going in and out of various stalls they manage to find a corner to lean on, where the sky is clear to see, less people around. “The fireworks are starting,” Yuzuru says and Shoma lifts up his mask to see the sky a bit better. 

The fireworks pop. Red and gold and blue and more. They’re loud, but gentle. Shoma thinks of a flower losing all of its petals. The sounds are a bit deafening. 

He turns to look at Yuzuru’s profile, so strong and gentle and they’re watching  _ fireworks _ . He can see the bright color reflected in Yuzuru’s eyes and it’s so like him. He feels and experiences so much and he embodies  _ so  _ much. Yet he’s here. By Shoma’s side, looking at the same sky as he is. 

Shoma smiles. 

(Yuzuru turns around from the fireworks, words catching up to the tip of his tongue, and sees Shoma gazing at him. With the softest eyes and smile. The words crash down.) 

\- 

“How long are you staying?” Shoma asks. 

Yuzuru finishes chewing his bite of food. “Hmm.” He takes a sip of water. “I don’t know.” 

Shoma tilts his head. 

“Uh, I was hoping if,” Yuzuru puts his chopsticks down. “If I could stay here in Japan with you? For a while.” 

Shoma’s still for a second. 

_ “You want to come back to Nagoya with me?”  _

The rest of the cafeteria looks up. Oops. Shoma didn’t mean to shout. He never tries to be that loud. Thank god the rest of Team Japan was still getting their food. 

“You want to come back to  _ Nagoya  _ with _me_?” Shoma whispers this time. “Don’t you want to train in Canada with Brian?” 

“If it’s okay with you. And Itsuki-kun. I don’t want to impose.” 

“No, no, that’s fine,” Shoma’s feelings are scattered all over the table like flurries and he isn’t sure which order to attack them. “We don’t care about that kind of stuff. It’s just.” Everything is jumbled. “Why?” He settles for that. 

“Canada can be a bit boring.” Yuzuru shrugs. “I’m always abroad and Javi isn’t home. I was wondering what it would be like to train with you for a few weeks. I think it could help.”

“Is Brian okay with this?” 

Yuzuru nods. And that’s when the rest of Team Japan comes up to them. 

“You alright?” Keiji asks as he slides up next to him. 

Shoma breathes. “Yeah.” 

-

_ Shoma: yuzu said that he might stay with us for a while _

_ Itsuki: yah lol i know _

_ Shoma: you knew???  _

_ Itsuki: yeah he asked _

_ Itsuki: I’m glad your boyfriend is staying with us!! _

Shoma drops the phone on his face. 

_ Shoma: he’s! not!1! _

_ Itsuki: okkkk but youve been like crushing on him since you were like idk. 8 _

_ Shoma: no! _

_ Itsuki: okk big bro _

-

They try to force Yuzuru to stay in Shoma’s room and Shoma could just bunk with Itsuki. But Yuzuru, being the stubborn Olympic and World winning champ, stubbornly refused. 

And that’s how he started rooming with Yuzuru.

Rooming with others isn’t anything new and it’s not like Yuzuru hasn’t slept over before. Weeks of competitions and training camps, sharing a room isn’t new. _ It isn’t _ is what Shoma has to keep reminding himself. 

And it really isn’t but Shoma allows it to happen anyway. But sometimes. Shoma thinks that maybe Yuzuru should have roomed with Itsuki instead. He hates when Yuzuru nags him to clean his bed.

-

Yuzuru starts going to practice with him. Mihoko doesn’t mind. No one really minds. Just because they go to practice together doesn’t mean competition has changed. Yuzuru still keeps notebooks and scribbles nightly, stays up late watching videos, and fumbling with things in the dark due to image training. 

They start doing everything together. 

Yuzuru makes breakfast and lunch for them because he’s a morning person. He says he learned during his free time (Shoma asked if he even had any free time) from his mom. They go to practice. Come back home. 

The nights are pleasant and clear and Shoma’s legs are sore but there’s always something to look forward to after every practice. 

The locker next to his own shuts, shaking him out of his own thoughts. “Ready to go home?” Yuzuru asks him, leaning on the lockers, looking all cool and suave. Shoma almost cringes at his thoughts.

Home. 

Shoma feels the bottoms of his stomach flip upside down. 

“Yeah.” 

They say goodbye to Mihoko and start their walk back to the apartment. The echoes of footsteps resonate.

Shoma isn’t sure what to talk to Yuzuru about. 

They’re  _ friends _ (Shoma thinks.) But Shoma isn’t good with people or keeping a conversation flowing. That’s what Yuzuru’s good at. 

But Yuzuru isn’t talking. 

Shoma runs the day through his head, a conversation starter, anything really. Oh! Yuzuru’s food!   


“Hey-”

“You know-” 

They both look at each other. 

“You can go-” 

“No, no, you can go first.” 

“Uhm.” Shoma says. “Uh, I was just going to say that Itsuki and I really like your cooking. We’re both really trash at cooking.” 

“Oh, thanks!” Yuzuru says, thumbing the straps of his bag. “That makes me happy. I was going to say your salchow was looking good today.” Yuzuru pauses. Shoma looks at him through the corner of his eyes. Yuzuru looks at peace. “I like the feeling it gives me.” 

Shoma laughs, “My salchow?” 

“Yeah! You know when you just get a bubbly feeling in your chest when you see something that you love-” Shoma dies on the inside, “like a cat on the street or all the pretty stars and you just feel, I guess inspired? I feel so full and overwhelmed. That’s how I feel!” Yuzuru smiles at him as if saying stuff like that is normal. 

Shoma feels the back of his neck warm. 

“Oh.” Shoma looks at the night sky and points. “Like that?” The stars are brighter but Shoma doesn’t really know what constellations or types of stars or planets. He doesn’t care for that kind of stuff. He feels like Yuzuru would though. 

“Yes! I used to be obsessed with astrology when I was really little,” Yuzuru says and Shoma allows himself a few seconds of self-satisfaction for getting that right. “But I’m afraid I forgot most of what I learned though.” 

“Astrology?” 

“Like western constellations. I’m a Sagittarius,” Yuzuru says the last word slowly. “He’s a bow archer. Like the kanji in my name! The ‘ _han_ ’ part.” 

“What’s mine?” Shoma asks, pointing to himself. 

“When’s your birthday again?” Yuzuru hums. “17th right? December?” He searches on his phone. “I think we’re both Sagittarius.” 

“Does that mean anything?”

“I’ll look it up when we get home.” Yuzuru pockets his phone. “And maybe I’ll try to find our constellation so I can show it to you.”    


-

Days blend into weeks and Yuzuru integrates himself into Shoma’s life so seamlessly. Mornings are composed of Yuzuru cooking and waking him up. Practice. Walk home. Eat with Itsuki. Sometimes they go to the convenience store. Life sets back to a rhythm. 

Their walk homes are always filled with something new. 

Shoma doesn’t realize how little he knows about Yuzuru. 

“I don’t know why I couldn’t have guessed that your favorite color is blue.” Shoma sighs. “It makes sense.” He thinks of the Chopins and Seimeis and Hope and Legacy. 

“Does it?”    


Images of blue sparkles on Yuzuru’s skin flashes. “Yes, you look best in blue.” Shoma blurts out without thinking. Which he does a lot. Now he wants to hit himself why is he so stupid. 

“I would say you like red. But I’m not sure.” 

Shoma thinks. He does like red. Like maroon. It’s vibrant but also calm at the same time. “I like maroon.” 

And weeks continue like that. Shoma learns new English words, more about Yuzuru’s family, how to distinguish the different sounds between bass and treble (in theory), and more about Sagittarius. 

Maybe it was the wind feeling just right, or the stars, or the planets, or maybe it was just Shoma himself. He’s always been a headfirst kinda guy. 

“Are we friends?” 

He says out of nowhere. Interrupting Yuzuru’s speech about how people can color coordinate earbuds and shirts. 

Yuzuru’s quiet for a while, the breeze tickling their hair and Shoma feels embarrassed. “No, it’s okay. That doesn’t make sense, just forget I said anyt-” 

“What did you think we were?” Yuzuru’s voice is soft, like the lines of his face and the bristles of his hair. 

Shoma shrugs, adjusting his bag straps, “I don’t know. Competitors.” 

“Ha, after all these years you just think we’re just rivals?” 

“Like, I’m friendly with Boyang when we’re at galas and stuff. Like that.” Shoma mumbles. 

“Shoma,” Yuzuru says, stops in his pace, Shoma stops too. The soft lights frame around Yuzuru like a halo. “You can still be friends with people you’re competing with. I know Javier is going to be a lifelong friend of mine until I die.”

“And besides,” Yuzuru starts walking again and Shoma follows. “I’ve known you since your rebellious stage. I think that immediately qualifies as being friends.” 

“Huh?” Shoma says, bewildered with what just happened and punches Yuzuru’s arm. “I did not have a rebellious stage.” 

“Uhuh, sure you did,” Yuzuru snorts. “‘I can’t talk right now, Yuzuru-senpai. You’re getting kind of old.’ Shoma Uno, thirteen years old-” 

“Oh my god,” Shoma is dying. “Stop no, I didn’t sound like that.” 

“‘You’re so lame, Yuzuru-senpai’ ah, my heart just hurts thinking about it.” 

“I was thirteen!” 

Shoma hits him with a pillow.  _ Friends _ . Yeah. Shoma can do that. He likes the sound of that. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this was in my drafts for a VERY long time and i reread and i was like *camp rock voice* this is pretty good! i thought it was a shame to keep it in the drafts esp when its p long and i actually really like it :D i hope publishing this will help me regain my passion for writing but beware! i have nothing written for the next parts and this was supposed to be a multichap, shoma realizing he's in love and being too stupid. I'm also sorry if i wrote them weird! as i said i haven't been updated w fs in years... also reminder this is ALL fiction so oop
> 
> also i tried to end it where it wasn't truly on a cliffhanger just in case! also twt names are completely made up !
> 
> yes! hmu on twitter or tumblr @ akaeijis <3 would love for comments etc.


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